50 Shades of Gray ?

Started by Bez, June 27, 2012, 09:52:12 am

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Quote from: Richard_2112 on June 28, 2012, 23:03:31 pm

Be young, handsome, intellegent, filthy rich, have a freakish obsession with BDSM, and have a huge penis...

It can be a burdon I tell you.
The lenses inside of me that paint the world black. The pools of poison, the scarlet mist, that spill over into rage.


When the truth offends we lie and lie until we can longer remember it is even there. But it is still there. Every lie we tell incurs a debt to the truth. Sooner or later, that debt is repaid


Quote from: Nick Sims on June 29, 2012, 00:12:18 am

But what's with using the seppo spelling of Grey Big Boy?

Opps !
RC1.1 abd g/n 11/0/bcd/tG PeW/- ~600 x 0 61%


Quote from: Matt2112 on June 28, 2012, 20:03:25 pm
The Indie Chick borrowed it off her mate to take on holiday and ease the tedium while sunbathing over the last week.  Her verdict? 

"Awfully-written shite".

Having read a random few pages here and there, I can say it isn't even that good.

Sounds just like a Dan Brown then. Utter shit and sold by the shed load. Go figure.
Why isn't there a sarcasm font?


Not read it, but wondering if I should? Then again I never read The Bridges of Madison County and the hype is similar. Maybe will let it pass by.
To me you're a Captain, but to a Captain, you're no Captain!

Captain Ron

I guess it's this years fashionable book so the herd have to baa along to get their clique points with their mates. Credit to the author though for having a hit in this genre in this day and age when there is so much free erotic writing and p0rn available on the internet.
"I was brought up to believe" (but never to leave beer)


50 shades of Chav.

"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my, well...our tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight." "It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time." "Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you" "As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the ally way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same." "My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had ****** his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farm foods. He picked up the power lead from my kids mega drive and whipped it across my doughy ****. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again, again, so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which was rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections.


 Chapter 2.............. I had a week to myself, bliss. The kids were all at their respective dads apart from Shakira whose dad was on remand. Luckily her Grandma was home as this time last year she was in Malia on an 18-30. Dwayne wanted me to be a Dominatrix but I couldn't get the gear as the new security guard at Ann Summers was a right t**t. I had to improvise. I put on my fave black sl*g wellies and wrapped bin bags around my muffin tops. For the mask I pulled my old black period pants over my head. I looked like gothic Vanessa Feltz attempting a bank job. Dwayne looked well chuffed as he had scored some Viagra off his dealer. I climbed on top but the idiot was asleep. He had bought diazepam by mistake. I tried to get him inside me but it was like trying to push toothpaste back into the tube. Finishing myself on the kids buzz light-year wasn't my finest hour but needs must."


(Beebop not the book)
Better drowned than duffers if not duffers wont drown

CDT 2112

I think its a great book and i have never turned a page, but its doin wonders for my sex life  8)

Captain Ron

The title is remarkably in tune with the weather you have to admit.
"I was brought up to believe" (but never to leave beer)

Tom Garrett

Headline in the book section of an Irish newspaper..
50 shades of gray, more like 50 shades of shite
Don't argue with the ignorant and stupid; they'll take you down to their level and beat you with experience!


Spotted in Sainsburys at the weekend : proper old looking pensioner with all three of he 50 Shades books in his trolley. Top man. :)
Why isn't there a sarcasm font?


Purchased a copy for Mrs Jonners for our wedding anniversary on Sunday just passed. 6 years, so sugar was the theme, so got her a pack of Haribo as well, which went down well

The book, however, is being returned.....
The new songs are an abomination


Quote from: Andy42g on July 17, 2012, 15:06:34 pm
Spotted in Sainsburys at the weekend : proper old looking pensioner with all three of he 50 Shades books in his trolley. Top man. :)

In Tesco on sunday I saw a lady who looked nearer 80 than 70 reading it off the shelf, she was with a man I assume was her husband. She put it back, made me chuckle though. :)