Nick the Dragon Slayer

Started by Jonners, October 26, 2004, 18:38:45 pm

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Jonners

Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle thebeautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty forthis would be death.

One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.


The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if
applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.


The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent
breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.


Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing
that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made.

 The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's shorts.
The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer...


MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills.
The new songs are an abomination

Ashley_Davidson

October 26, 2004, 23:04:36 pm #1 Last Edit: October 26, 2004, 23:07:10 pm by Ashley_Davidson
All that effort mate, and no-one cares.

Jonners

I know! >:(
It took me literally seconds to cut and paste that bastard together!
The new songs are an abomination

Bez

QuoteI know! >:(
It took me literally seconds to cut and paste that bastard together!

I tittered Jonners, not enough to post and acknowledgment in the thread, but a titter nonetheless !
RC1.1 abd g/n 11/0/bcd/tG PeW/- ~600 x 0 61%

Bez

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:  

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing

this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the
house next weekend.  

Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her

a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. "You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?"


Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off
my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said,

"Wear sun-block." ________________________________________________________________________

____

College short story assignment
  
 
The class was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible
for a college class and the instructions were that it had to  discuss Religion,
Sexuality and Mystery.

The only one who received an A+ wrote the following:

   "Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it."

________________________________________________________________________
____


The banker saw his old  friend Tom, an eighty-year-old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a  year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a "mail order" bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true. Tom assured
him that it was.  The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.

Tom proudly  said, "She'll be twenty-one in November."

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course. Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. "How's the new wife?" asked the banker. Tom proudly said, "Oh, she's pregnant."

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, "And how's the hired hand?"

Without hesitating, Tom said, "She's pregnant too."

Don't ever  underestimate old geezers!
RC1.1 abd g/n 11/0/bcd/tG PeW/- ~600 x 0 61%

Jonno

If smoking cures fish how come it kills people?