British Equality

Started by Jonners, January 18, 2006, 10:17:48 am

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Jonners

How true is this...



CLASSIC VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
THE END


THE BRITISH VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's
a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter,
the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?
The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know
why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less
fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.
The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,
with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home in
Hampstead with a table laden with food.
The British are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.
The Liberal Democrat Party, the Respect Party, the Transvestites With
Starving Babies Party and the Coalition Rebelling Against Poverty
demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The BBC, interrupting a
Rastafarian cultural festival special from Grimsby with breaking news,
broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."
Ken Livingston laments in an interview with Panorama that the ant has
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".
In response, the Labour Government drafts the Economic Equity and
Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the
summer.
The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire
grasshoppers as helpers.
Without enough money to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive
taxes, his home is confiscated by Camden Council
The ant moves to France, and starts a successful agribiz company [fundedby the EU].
The BBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the
ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government
house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles
around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.
Inadequate government funding is blamed, Diane Abbot is appointed to
head a commission of enquiry that will cost
The new songs are an abomination

Red Star

Very good Jonners, but disturbingly not far off the mark.
You shall call me pisshead the God of Pintage I shall be...

fleetwoodphil

Fantastic mate - many a true word spoken in jest !!

Tom Garrett

Don't argue with the ignorant and stupid; they'll take you down to their level and beat you with experience!